CURRENTLY UNEMPLOYED · FOREVER ONCHAIN

JOBJEFF.

Too busy being the boss
to actually have a job.
No office hours. No performance reviews. Just one cat, one phone, and some very important calls.
MEET THE BOSS ↗ENTER THE OFFICE ↓
NOT FINANCIAL EMPLOYMENT
PERSONNEL FILE #0001EMPLOYMENT STATUS UNEMPLOYABLEOFFICE HOURS NEVER
Jeff the orange cat in a tie, sunglasses, holding a phoneEMPLOYEE OF NEVER™
01 / confidential personnel file

Meet the
unemployed
CEO.

Jeff has never had a real job. He still takes more calls than your entire management team. Nobody knows who’s on the other end. Nobody dares ask.

Legal nameJobless Onchain Boss Jeff
PositionHEAD OF DOING NOTHING
Years of experience00
Ticker$JOBJEFF
Current moodIN A MEETING
02 / executive headquarters

Welcome to
the office.

We're a very serious operation. Please don't ask what we do.

Jeff's direct line

He's been on the phone for six straight hours. Nobody has ever heard it ring.

LINE STATUS: AVAILABLE (ALLEGEDLY)
MEMO 001 / Q4 PRIORITIES

Maximize doing nothing.

Our core mission is to look extremely occupied while achieving absolutely zero traditional work.

MEMO 002 / COMPANY VALUES

Clock out. Cash out.

Jeff doesn't have a 9-to-5. He has a phone, a tie, and the confidence of a Fortune 500 CEO.

03 / words from the chairman
“They told me to get a job. So I got a ticker instead.”
— JEFF, FOUNDER & PERMANENTLY OUT OF OFFICE
04 / human resources

We're not
hiring.
Apply anyway.

Join the world's least productive company. Competitive salary: vibes. Unlimited vacation: obviously.

FOLLOW ON X ↗

JOB APPLICATION

FORM #000
Senior Professional Time Waster
✓ APPLICATION APPROVED.
Welcome aboard. Your first assignment: do nothing.
COPIED